fav comedian
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Whats yours?
Mine has to be Eddie Izzard. Brilliant, I tell you!
Mine has to be Eddie Izzard. Brilliant, I tell you!
- Dr. KillGood
- Senior Member
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It's a tough choice between Steven Wright and Demetri Martin...
"Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you always put your two cents in?... Somebody's making a penny" - Steven Wright
"One time right in the middle of a job interview, I took out a book and I started reading. The guy says 'What the hell are you doing?' I said let me ask you one question: If you were in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light, then you turned your lights on, would they do anything? He said 'I dunno,' I said forget it then, I don't want to work for you." - Steven Wright
"I heard this woman one time say 'I like kids.' That's nice, little weird though. It's like saying 'I like people, but only for a little while'" - Demetri Martin
"Every food fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal" - Demetri Martin
"Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you always put your two cents in?... Somebody's making a penny" - Steven Wright
"One time right in the middle of a job interview, I took out a book and I started reading. The guy says 'What the hell are you doing?' I said let me ask you one question: If you were in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light, then you turned your lights on, would they do anything? He said 'I dunno,' I said forget it then, I don't want to work for you." - Steven Wright
"I heard this woman one time say 'I like kids.' That's nice, little weird though. It's like saying 'I like people, but only for a little while'" - Demetri Martin
"Every food fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal" - Demetri Martin
- Shadeslayer
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- nightwheel
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- Senior Member
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Lewis Black.
Lactose intolerant milk? Kiss my d**k! If you're lactose intolerant you can't drink milk. So what's in the f***ing carton? Get it out of there, get it away from my milk. It is talking to my milk and making it feel bad about itself.
You know what they would do? They would come to my elementary school with films to show me how to protect myself from a nuclear-f***-holocaust. They would show this giant nuclear-f***ing-bomb just blowing the s**t out of everything. Goats and monkeys flying everywhere. The windows of the elementary school blown out, the teacher banged up against the f***ing blackboard. But there were the children... hiding safely under their desks. And I thought wow... if this was a real attack... when the all clear sounded... I can get up and go out to the playground and MELT!
It's best if you can see the gestures he makes with his hands and his eyes, though. I recommend his HBO stand-up "Black on Broadway". All of the above quotes are from it.I knew it was way too cold this winter because I have not had one thought. I have NOT been able to complete a sentence in my own head. I find myself wondering, going; You know, I should really - F*** IT'S COLD!
- ganonbanned
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Nobody said jerry seinfeld!!!
I suppose he's pretty generic though.
I would say michael richards, but than I'd be racist.
I suppose he's pretty generic though.
I would say michael richards, but than I'd be racist.
Last edited by ganonbanned on Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.